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Deadpool VS Lobo
Deadpool vs. Lobo is a What-If? episode of Death Battle. Description Marvel vs. DC! Two anti-heroic jokesters that are near immortal and have tons of weapons battle to the death!' Interlude Boomstick: Ugh! Hasn't been already stated that Marvel always beats DC? Wiz: Not always. Batman beat Captain America, remember? Boomstick: True. Anyway, these two loveable jokers from the likes of DC and Marvel fight to the death! Wiz: Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth Boomstick: And Lobo, the Main Man! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills and find out who would win a Death Battle? Deadpool Wiz: Wade Wilson was... Deadpool: HELL YEAH! 'bout time I got some spotlight around! Boomstick: Oh yeah, I forgot about Deadpool's fourth wall ability. Ugh.. Deadpool: Don't be down in the dumps, 'cuz D-Pool is here to save the day! Wiz: From what? Deadpool: I dunno. Anyway, since you guys suck, I'm gonna go over my origin story. Yay! Anyway, I was beat up by kids and taken in...no no no, I mean, I was trained by this dude, I dunno my origin story WAHHHHH! Boomstick: Shut the fuck up! Wiz: Anyway, Wade Wilson was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, and it seemed like his doom was inevitable. Then one day, he found out about the Weapon X program, where he got the most overrated thing in Marvel History.....Regeneration. Deadpool: U MAD BRO? I've got regeneration skills! Boomstick: Screw the origin story, let's just get this idiot's bio over with! Deadpool: Yeah! What the grumpy dude with the shotgun said!, except for the idiot part 'cuz I'm smart LOL. Wiz: (Sighs) Anyway, Deadpool has a plethora of weapons. These include two handguns named Butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.... Deadpool: I named them myself! Boomstick: Will you even shut up? Deadpool: Nope. Wiz: Anyway, he's also got two Katanas, a sniper rifle, grenades, a Carbonadium sword, teleportation, and of course... Boomstick: That Regeneration ability! God! Deadpool: I can say Chimichangas in seven different languages! Wiz: What does that have to do with anything? Deadpool: I dunno. I like Chimichangas. Feed me. Wiz: Anyway, Deadpool has done plenty of feats despite acting like a total goofball in all scenarios. He has resisted Ghost Rider's Penance Stare, can regenerate from stuff like getting turned into paste or even getting chopped in half. Deadpool: I also outwitted that Skeletor rip off and me and my Deadpool buddies killed some evil version of me that was called Dreadpool and yada yada yada. Boomstick: However, Deadpool is not a perfect man. He's dumb, cocky, loves to taunt his opponent, and sometimes relies too much on his Healing Factor. Deadpool: But you can never get enough of me! Eva! Lobo Wiz: Lobo is often considered the last Czarian due to the fact, well, he is. Boomstick: Can this dude break the fourth wall like Deadpool does? Wiz: He can... (Dramatic Pause) Wiz: But he rarely does it. Boomstick: Thank god. Wiz: Anyway, Lobo wiped out his species easily with a hoard of scorpions that was his "science project." Boomstick: And if that's not enough, he got kicked out of Hell and Heaven, so he basically can't die! Wiz: Lobo has a lot of weapon he can use for his disposal. These include shotguns, a hook, a motorcycle and grenades. Boomstick: Oh yeah, and did I tell you he loves to troll his opponents by tying them up with his hook and dragging them on the back of his bike? Wiz: He's also got a handy pocket knife and ear buds that play heavy metal music. Boomstick: This actually has a purpose. This means that his opponent can't mind control him. Wow, are you sure Deadpool ripped off Deathstroke? Wiz: Anyway, Lobo's Regeneration is insane. He can regenerate faster than an average man, and can even regenerate even if he only has one drop of blood left in his body. Boomstick: Wow. Just wow. Wiz: Lobo has taken on the likes of Superman and won, was a member of the JLA for a short time, and killed his entire species in just one week. Boomstick: But Lobo isn't perfect either. He's cocky, he's rude, he loves to flip his opponent off once in a while, and he's pretty dumb, as he easily gets manipulated by hot women. What the fuck? Wiz: Either way, he's called the Main Man for a reason. Lobo: The name's Lobo. That's L as in 'lacerate', O as in 'obliterate', B as in 'disembowel', and O as in, uh... well, I guess I can use 'obliterate' twice. Intermission Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle! Death Battle Deadpool is playing Mario Kart 7 on his 3ds when he hears a knock on his door. Deadpool: Not right now, I'm playing Bowser's Castle! The door bursts open, yet Deadpool is not paying attention. The Main Man, Lobo, enters the room. Lobo: Iz someone here named Deadpool, 'cuz they're worth a fortune! Deadpool: Right here, gray dude. Are you here to play Call of Duty Black Ops 3 with me? Lobo: Nah, I'll pass. I'm actually here to kill you. Deadpool: You'll have to catch me first. TEHEHEHEHE! Deadpool teleports into an abandoned city and hears a motorcycle roar near by. Deadpool: You got to be fucking me. Lobo gets off his bike and loads his shotgun. Lobo: Prepare to die, bitch! FIGHT! Deadpool and Lobo rapidly fire bullets from their guns at each other. As bullets bounce off one by one, Deadpool sneaks a grenades and tosses it at Lobo's feet. Deadpool: Tehehehe! Lobo then realizes there's a grenade under his foot, but it's too late as the troll attack knocks Lobo into the air. Lobo: Fuck you! Deadpool then smacks his butt, taunting Lobo as he hits the ground with a thud. Deadpool: Lobo and the ground, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Lobo gets ticked off and throws his hook. The hook latches around Deadpool's feet, faceplanting Deadpool. Deadpool: God Damnit! Lobo then ties Deadpool on the back of his bike, flips him off, and drives off. Deadpool is bumped and bruised on the long drive as Lobo is swerving left and right on his bike. Deadpool: Hey buddy, there's an elephant on the top of Wells Fargo! Lobo looks for an elephant on the top of a broken down Wells Fargo as Deadpool uses one of his Katanas to break free. Deadpool rolls into the street as Lobo turns around and sees his bounty has escaped Lobo: Hey, get back here! Deadpool pulls out his twin pistols and shoots at Lobo. Lobo flips him off, but then sees his bike has a flat tire. Lobo and his bike crash into a building as Deadpool starts munching on a chimichanga. Lobo: Eating Taco Bell I see? Well, you won't be having any more fun for long, chum! Deadpool: Oh yeah..well, your mom! Lobo: Isn't your mom's name Deathstroke? Deadpool: Alright, you just crossed the line! Deadpool then pulled out his Katanas and ran at Lobo. Lobo pulled out a pocket knife and blocked a blow from Deadpool's sword. Lobo then kicks Deadpool, knocking the Merc with a Mouth back. Deadpool: AGH! Deadpool teleports next to Lobo and hides a grenade in his pants. Lobo sees Deadpool and stabs him in head. Deadpool simply regenerates and teleports away as the bomb goes off in Lobo's pants. Lobo is hurled forward in the air, but to most people, it looked like he farted. Lobo hits the ground with a crash and gets back up. To Deadpool's surprise, he regenerates. Deadpool: You can regenerate too? I got a thing for that, though it may still be covered in blood. Deadpool pulls out his Carbonadium sword at does a pose someone like Link would. Lobo sees this as a threat and steps back. Deadpool: What's wrong pussy? Afraid of my awesome power? Lobo: I'm more scared of your underwear than your sword. Deadpool stomps his foot in rage, as he accidently drops the Carbonadium sword. Lobo runs at Deadpool and delivers a strong punch to the gut, causing D-Pool to cough up blood. Lobo then kicks Deadpool in the dick and uppercuts him, hurling Deadpool back. Deadpool: OW! I'm gonna regenerate, so just you wait! Deadpool regenerates and attempts to snipe at Lobo's head. Lobo easily dodges these, but is blasted back by one of Deadpool's grenades. Lobo: Those grenades are damn annoying! Lobo then pulls out his hook and swings it at Deadpool. Deadpool is texting a friend, but suddenly isn't able to breath. The hook had hooked onto Deadpool's neck and was choking him. Deadpool: Ack! Help, I can't breath! Lobo: That's it, a little bit more. The struggle between Deadpool and Lobo's hook continued, until Lobo managed to use enough force to cause Deadpool's head to pop off as a blood pool forms from Deadpool's body. Deadpool's head sees Lobo and tries to eat one more Chimichanga. Lobo picks up Deadpool's head and chuckles. Lobo: Well, if I had to say one thing 'bout you, is that you were some annoying red dude who can teleport and heal. Well, time to die. Any last words? Deadpool: Want a Chimichanga? Lobo: Nah, I'll pass. OK, time's up. Lobo then rips Deadpool's head in half as mushy brains and other weird stuff comes out of Deadpool's head. Deadpool was no more. Lobo: Try healing from this one, you fragging bitch. KO! Conclusion Deadpool: WHAT! I LOST! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! HOW COULD I, DEADPOOL, OF ALL PEOPLE, LOSE TO SOME REJECTED MEMBER OF KISS? Wiz: Simple, Lobo easily outclassed you in everything. Deadpool: Fuck. Boomstick: Though these two have had plenty of fun moments, in the end only one could live. And considering how Lobo is able to humiliate people like Superman, while Deadpool struggles to beat Wolverine, I'm not surprised. Wiz: Though we all know Deadpool is insanely durable and has that Healing Factor, Lobo is also extremely durable and has a Healing Factor. But his Healing Factor can heal faster than Deadpool or Wolverine. Like, 5 times faster to be exact. Boomstick: Also, Lobo had beaten Captain Comet, when he was drunk. He also beat Captain Marvel and Superman, and took a hit from Pulsar Stargrave that destroyed him in the page before and he didn't even go unconscious! Wiz: So to put it short, Lobo's insane durability and strength trumped Deadpool in everyway possible. Boomstick: You could say was LobOWNED! Wiz: The winner is Lobo Trivia *This is Shrek's second DC vs. Marvel themed Death Battle, the first being The Riddler VS Mysterio *This is also the second time an anti-hero loses, the first being Shadow the Hedgehog VS Majin Buu Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Adopted What-If? 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